I must say, this dream left me feeling morose. I don't know why... Lol.

It all started when I was dutifully waddling in disorderly formation, about 40 of us in civilian attire that just felt like.... you know the stuff you'd wear after a swim at the beach. We trundled along a dusty wretched courtyard through some bamboo/stone gates only to be greeted by a bizarre palatial building, clearly we were in a less fortunate country than my own. Wow.

Anyway, as we pulled up alongside a balcony on the second floor, and enormous black guy came out... he was the guy from the coke ad... the guy with all the gold chains? He's a governor or something I dunno. "Brrrrrr!" ? that guy.
Anyway, he came out and started a friendly (if not gorilla like) proclamation -when who should pop up throught the curtains of the next window over? A tiny little figure in a tiny little window.. the fuggin Queen... Just looking on from some kind of sitting room, seeming quite amused. SHe dissapeared inside and reappeared on the balcony having a jolly time interacting with this incredible African Churchhill. After a moment of admiration (as one does) I broke away and went inside as everybody else dispersed from the property - it seems my military display (which sucked) was over.

After an EXTREMELY politically incorrect journey into this suprisingly elegant african Buckingham Palace, (as it clearly was) I was shown reluctantly into the room the balcony was connected to by what can only be described as a very hard-done-by slave. For once in my life, I felt COMPLETELY on his side, but that was soon over as I waltzed into the room to see Queen Elizabeth reclined (quite bizarrely) on a chaise lounge with my close friend-of-the-family Paul. I was a little awestruck, and the queen (dressed in all black) looked up at me as though i had invaded her bathroom. I was kinda taken aback and receded into the bar to make myself a cocktail - withholding the alcohol at the last minute in favour of juices and fruit. I'm a terrible drunk. I'd be booted out into the street like the smelly urchin i was at the time. I made a pina colada, it came out green. It looked VILE, but it tasted alright. The palace opened up next to the bar, to a vile horrid neighbourhood. What the royals were doing here I couldn't imagine, but it seemed Captain Negro had it all under control, literally... this was a thriving - yet sadly primitive place.... but it wasn't stable at all. I then found the coolest pith helmet I have ever seen, put it on, and it vanished. By this time the Queen seemed to have gone outside again, so i felt keen to make myself scarce.

I lit a Gasper, and went out into the street... suddenly there wasnt a black person to be seen, all white. this was a very racial dream. For the africans to be thriving in squaller, compared to the caucasians doing little more than tend to their practically identical gardens....Had a sip of my wretched cocktail, "Why doesn't the Queen like me? She liked the black guy!"

Then I woke up feeling left out, needing to pee, and feeling a little bit more racist than usual.

If all our politicians were pudgy blinged-up negros... the world may just be a better place.

Also, i had jelly-shots at the bar too. Blue ones. Now I wanna be a head of state! HATS!